FUBARgenre: The Genre of Fubar

by Mark

1. She snores when she sleeps. Not as loud as most people. But she snores. I swear she does. Just don’t tell her I told you.
2. She gets bitchy at least once a month. A missing pen can send her on a rampage. During such episodes, it is always wise to stay clear of her path.
3. She has to bite her lower lip to keep from correcting other people’s grammar all the time. Except when I’m that other person. You should hear her lecture me about syntax. Syn-what?
4. She’s very competitive. She refuses to lose in anything. And I mean anything. Even in something as silly as thumb wrestle. Note to everyone: Do NOT play scrabble with this woman!
5. She’s very sweet and caring. She takes very good care of her sisters, her nephew, her friends, her family, and of course, me. I’m her baby.
6. She can hardly see but she refuses to wear glasses because they hide her eyes. Did I mention that her eyes are the most beautiful of God’s creations? You can seriously get lost in them.
7. She smells so good all the time. Even if she doesn’t shower for a week, she still smells good. Her scent reminds me of sweet milk.
8. She is terrified of singing in public. But sometimes when I’m tired, or when I bug her until she relents, she sings to me so sweetly and so shyly until I start to snore.
9. She is a woman of many talents: she’s a great writer, a wonderful artist, a really sexy dancer, a terrific cook, and a passionate orator, among other things. She also has some other talents that are for me and for me only.
10. She’s weird. She’s neurotic. She’s high-strung. She’s obsessive. She’s a control freak. And she’s mine.